Oi Vay

So Folks…. “Oi Vay” is pretty much where I am at… also “what the heck” and “oh brother”.

Today was supposed to be my last chemo. I had returned Wednesday night into the warm embraces of my husband and three doodle bugs, after a couple days at an Ancient Tibetan Buddhist healing Chod retreat. It was fabulous and so many interesting things happened there, which is what I had intended on writing about while I received my final infusion of the “cleano”.

However, my blood tests came back with a low platelet count so they were going to hold it off for a week. But then I was explaining some of the symptoms of my side effects like; word retrieval, memory problems, headaches, blah blah. Text book chemo side effects. Jeez, there have been articles in the NY Times about “Chemo Brain”. What I expected and wanted to hear was along the lines of “Oh yeah, those are all normal and should go away in a few weeks or so.” Okay, so Dr. Pipas did say that..super, then added, “But I want to get you in today or tomorrow for a brain scan. Generally, colon cancer doesn’t travel to the brain, but we should get a reading to be safe.”

WTF? No seriously. WTF? This was NOT the plan, the script didn’t say anything about this. SO you see, “Oi Vay”.  Well, I can say that now 12 hours later after having a good old fashioned cry festival.

So peeps, I am certainly not in the clear yet, and I know no amount of praying or cheering will make any different in the next 22 hours to the results of the scan (tomorrow, Friday at 6:15 p.m.) BUT I do need your love, and thoughts and belief in my strength to get through this final push. It will be fine. Right? RIGHT!

No pictures today, no quotes, I wasn’t ready for this, well except from Bill (Bio-Pop)… “When you least expect it, expect it”… I’ll write about my other experience with the Rinpoche and his band of merry monks and nuns later.

Oh Heck, Oh Jesus, Oh brother and Oi vay, i love you all so much….

9 Responses to “Oi Vay”

  1. ellen Says:

    Love you Lady. You will be fine.
    I was thinking about you ALL DAY today sending you big love for your final cleano.
    Keep everyone posted and in the meantime I will be sending you sooo much love it’s crazy. Pink houses and Eskimos.
    Love you,
    xoxo
    Ellen

  2. Ann Says:

    Oh Lina- I can’t imagine. I have a feeling that you will be okay with this. I am sending you all that I have. Another sharp turn in your journey. Please keep me posted. XOXO
    Ann

  3. Tracey Says:

    of course it will be fine, for f-sake. wtf is right, but I know you’re on the way to being done with all this. I want to hear about the retreat: After tomorrow & you know it’s clear.
    Love you always xxxxxxxxx

  4. Jessica Blake Says:

    Lina, Dear,
    It will be fine
    Send your worries my way
    I owe you a carriage or two and I will take what you cannot or wish not to bear
    because it will be ok
    and allright; all right
    and better than that
    I send Sake and Sushi and Silly-ness in abundance
    and it will all come out ok.
    Love
    Jess

  5. allie Says:

    lots of love still coming your way. hang in there…
    xox

  6. Brooke Says:

    I was thinking of you so much today!! thinking that today was to be your last cleano… and was cheering about it with Gus!… I am so sorry for this.. but am hoping that Dr. Pipas is just being thorough and wanting to not take anything for granted…
    and ok.. just so you know, on any given day I have problems with word retrieval, headaches and memory problems, which I try to ascribe to aging or hormonal shifts. So perhaps, and I hope, that it’s just life plus the incredibly strong cocktail of chemicals they’ve been feeding you!… that’s what I’m going to focus on!! that and that there is Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, wrong with that amazing, beautiful, creative brain of yours!! sending all the very best and strongest thoughts to you, my dear friend!!!
    I’ll be thinking of you and sending the brightness of my day to you across the big ol chilly seas!!
    so much love to you dearest!
    xoxoxo B.

  7. Elena Says:

    Sending good glorious love…

  8. Sharon Fantl Says:

    we’re with you sweetie. one last big push!!! you have made it this far, it’s the last stretch that’s the hardest.
    tonight we’ll be thinking of you as we eat at our table- ron mad e a”menu item” dish… we are planning a cookbook called menu items of meals we make at home. tonight some cabbage concoction with rye bread that ron turned into a spiral… all very pretty. kind of old world too… and comfort food and love… like your family embraces and your strength and flavor and goodness… so when we eat our menu item dish tonight we’ll celebrate you and will send you all our love.

    i am a tired soul tonight, thus the sleepy ranting.

    but i love you tons lina, and i know you are coming full circle, almost a year since you started down this road. you’re right here and you are home.

    much love and kisses kisses, hugs and kisses.
    sharon and ron

  9. Diva Says:

    RE: Limbo-

    LOVE visits might be a good thing as LAUGHS might be a good thing. We can come to you or if you feel like a road trip…
    Sending LOVE and looking forward to gathering for more LAUGHS-
    D

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