The Forest through the Trees

“One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.” ~M.Cibenko

It’s Sunday. One day post unhook from the 11th cleano sack, phew, and I am already looking through the trees toward the finish line.  September 10th is my final cleano and then sometime after that I get my tests to see how things have gone. Well, actually to show that it is gone. Really, really gone. Right? Right!

Sadly, the day I got the 11th hook up was also the day my Bio-Pop, Bill, and the sweet canine-nanny dog, Bonnie, packed the car and headed back to Colorado. Bill, for those of you who don’t know has been living with us for the last 6+ months, working on our house renovations. It has been a tremendously generous sacrifice from him as well as my Step mom, Leslie and my halflings Emma and Mattie.

More valuable than the house being renovated was the time that Bill and I got to spend together and having the kids getting to really know and love him. It is the longest I have lived with him since I was about 9 or so. And although I would surely have not chosen cancer to put us under the same roof again, it has been one of the very best things that has happened from this.  Now if we can just get airfares down or high speed trains up and running.

This weekend I have been resting up at my folks, Anne and Arthur’s, in Sharon with my first born baby girl, who cooked me a delightful dinner straight from the garden..yummers, beets, greens sauteed in apple cider (her own successful concoction), and a nice helping of buttery mashed potatoes. Doesn’t get too much better than that…. except it does, because the weather has been decidedly chilly and Georgia was also running back and forth stoking the fireplace to keep her Mama warm. What a kid, huh?

Today the cold weather sort of broke into a gentle humidity and the sun is shining through some spectacular clouds. The last of the summer rolling through perhaps bringing on the Autumn. Bringing on the next phase. Dear Mother Nature, what is my next phase? What do I do with this experience? Any bright ideas out there?  Can I become the poster girl for Colon Cancer without making cancer my life? And how do I do that?

I feel like I have a stick and there is this big Pinata hanging over my head and I don’t know if it’s filed with goo, crap, cancer, candy, money, love, fullfillment, answers…?   I am afraid to hit it for the fear of what might fall out all over me…and somewhere along the road I suspect I actually packed the Pinata.

lina sky

“The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life’s plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life.” ~R.L. Stevenson

2 Responses to “The Forest through the Trees”

  1. Kristin Albee Says:

    Love, for sure. If you packed it. Glowing, healing love.

  2. Elena Says:

    “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.”

    ~Sophocles

    I second the other comment – healing, glowing, lovely love, lady.

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