meta-pornSo here I am… Round 2 of cleano. The port (my friend Andrew has named “Miranda” meaning: one that must be admired), my swollen (b/c of steroids) hands, my bag of tricks (open for your viewing pleasure).

Adrian and I went to the hospital early this morning. Man, it was busy there, which is obviously disturbing because it shows how many people are dealing with cancer. I had two suite mates this time: Sue with serious breast cancer, and Russell with metastasized lung to liver to brain cancer.

What a reminder that there is ALWAYS someone out there that has it worse off than you.

Adrian bought me some ladybug kid scissors, a notebook, liberated some tape from the nurses station and we spent the time perusing home and building magazines, cutting out and pasting up some inspirations for our house. This past week our dear friend Ann McLaughlin and I had gone to town ripping up carpet and steaming off wallpaper. It was SO theraputic to feel like I was moving toward the goal of our new house. It felt great to be strong and rip and pull and sweat. It makes me feel so good I believe I will make a useful nuisance of myself for the carpenters!

Also this week I have enjoyed some really lovely events with the local Woodstock peeps we are befriending. We went to a swanky, delicious, fun dinner party at Clay’s house. Clay is a serious character, an amazingly inspirational painter, as well as a healer. Adrian and I went to his divine art studio and he called down the spirits to heal me and support Adrian. It was a phenomenal trip, unlike anything I have ever been open to experiencing before. That; on top of the serene guided imagery CD my dad, Arthur, made for me, has really assisted in blissing me over and out.

Sunday the entire Tans Gang of 5, descended on Poppy’s lovely teacher Ms.B (we call her Ann) and made a gazillion beautifully decorated and most delicious Valentine cookies. I am terribly destressed and sorry to say that the cookies were so good that not a one of you will ever see one. Because of our great love for you, we sacrifice out hips, thighs and appetite for broccoli. Your welcome (heh).

AND to finish today and this blog entry  I jump over to the fact that it is Wednesday. My ballet day. I was complaining to my mother dear about how disappointed I was that they switched my cleano to Wednesday and now I wouldn’t get to go to ballet. Annie gently demanded better of me, by saying (not paraphrasing, though something to the effect of): “perhaps this is part of your lesson. You let other things keep you from dancing and putting yourself out there in vulnerable places before. Lina deer, you strap that doo-boo-boosie (fanny pack: see above picture) on and go dance as best you can.”

So I did, because she was right. I am so glad because my mind, body and soul loved it.

Whether you think you can or think you can’t – you are right.

9 Responses to “MetaPorn”

  1. Sharon Fantl Says:

    What a fine way to end my evening. SO glad you danced today!!!! So glad to hear some news. And I love the porn- nice pack you got there lady!!!
    Well, ahem… sleep well. Kisses to all you guys.
    xxoo, Sharon

  2. Brooke Says:

    thanks for that! I love the image of my fine strong friend dancing her way through her cleano treatment!! right on! I hope that today finds you feeling as fine as is possible…

    Here…it’s snowing for the 2nd time.. yippeee….

    thinking of you all the time!
    cozy hugs to you all!

  3. connie feydy Says:

    Beautiful, amazing, Lina. I’m feeling so much about and for you, but I’m choked up and so for now it’s just those words.

  4. Lorna Says:

    You actually look pretty hot all wrapped up in black plastic.

  5. Hilary Says:

    I am learning so much from you, Lina! You are truly a beautiful lady through and through. Thank you. I am sure you are wrapped in lovely love this Valentines!
    More love from here, Hilary

  6. Shajen Says:

    Yeah, thanks for eating the cookies for me, I greatly appreciate it! Sounds like the cleno is cleaning lots of things out…I can picture you dancing and swirling your beautiful energy around. Thanks for sharing with us. I hope today is bright and sunny, give Adrian a big hug from me. Talk to you soon!
    Love Shajen

  7. willow Says:

    So wonderful to see your beautiful face and your meta porn… you’ve always been so sexy.

    Have you read AntiCancer: A New Way of Life by David Serven-Schreiber? I recently read it and found I couldn’t put it down. It’s very uplifting and has good info on combining contemporary research into holistic approaches to healing cancer with the conventional therapies.

    And yes, embodying our passions, like dance is so important on so many levels. I love you Lina and look forward to dancing together.
    xoxo, Willow

  8. Matt k Says:

    Boy I wish I was going to be one of the carpenters if you dress like that all the time around the house. I am sure I would have lots of questions for you and I would definitely need an extra hand or two.

    Sounds like you have more and more support everyday.

    Keep dancing!

  9. Erica Leigh Says:

    You rock girl… every time i read your blog i fall more in love with you. Love the image of you steaming wall paper in a cold house in vermont in feb. You are a superwoman… love

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